Rusted Away
by PointlessKnife
Summary: It had been so long since she had lost him, yet she still remembered him. {Gajevy}


**A/N Hi, sorry about this, it's a short thing that I wanted to write based on the latest manga chapter. Warning, there will be spoilers. As usual, I don't own Fairy Tail and I hope you enjoy.**

Snow crunched under Levy's boots as she walked down the long, winding road. This winter was particuarly unforgiving, the sky was bleak and empty, and the wind was chilling. All was silent, except for the sound of her footsteps. She could see why. No one was outside now. It was going to be dark soon, and who would want to be outside on a day like this. No one would dare leave the warmth of their home.

Except her.

Every day, whether it was wind or rain, sun or hail she would come here. It was the one place she could remember, it was the one place she could see him.

The first few flakes of snow started falling, settling in her hair, like a white crown. It was so cold and silent, but she hadn't been outside for too long. Yet she was already numb. Every little thing was a reminder. The guild. Her friends. The absence of so many precious people.

It didn't matter. She was going to see them soon.

* * *

At first, after _that_ , the guild had been too quiet. No one would laugh. Everyone was muted, falling under a thick cloud of depression. Failing to carry the impossibly heavy burden placed on their shoulders.

How could they possibly stand up, when the ground had been snatched from underneath their feet?

After the war with Zeref, there had been a lot of confusion. Nobody had known quite where to go, and some people had clung onto the hope that the people they'd seen die would walk through the doors, maybe a little roughed up, shaken, but very much alive. That their eyes would be bright, dancing with life, not cold and glassy, that thier hearts would be warm and beating, not shattered and silent. It was that silence that drowned out all the noise.

Some small part of her scorned those people. The war had claimed their guildmates, there was no coming back. How could they possibly hope that the people who had been lost in the crimson taint of war would just come strolling back. She couldn't stand the way they would light up before their expressions would fall, broken, putting themselves back together, broken. Yet she was one of them.

Every time someone would lift the heavy doors of their guild hall, every time someone willingly stepped into their dark realm of silence and muffled sobs, silver tears and whispered pleas, she would see, just for a second, his tall figure, blocking out the light, yet the smile on his face would be as clear as though he was standing right in front of her. The tears would be gone from his face, and there wouldn't be a sign of their heartbreaking goodbye.

Then the illusion would fade, and he would disappear, a phantom, chased away back into the shadow filled mist of death. A hazy veil would always separate them. Who ever had arrived would step into the guild, leaving her drowning in despair, ten times worse than before.

* * *

Walking along this lonely road in the suffocating quiet was killing her. Levy had far too much time to think. Think of all the good times. The happy memories, glowing gold, so firmly held in her mind that they would play whenever she thought of him. The happiness was a double ended knife. In those memories, he was _there._ So whole, so normal. Yet there was no going backwards, only forwards. How could she? When he wasn't there to walk with her?

She shivered, wrapping her thick coat further around her. The snow had started to pick up, it was becoming harder to see the path. The world was being drenched in white, yet it didn't matter. The route was carved in the cracks in her heart, she would never forget it. Not while she lived.

Here she was, alone again. He had promised to make her tall, but now she felt smaller than ever. Smaller and smaller, the world seemed so much bigger, so much cruler. Smaller and smaller...

* * *

She didn't stop crying the whole way to the guildhall. Pantherlily had carried her. By the time they finally got back, she was coughing, her vision was swimming. She couldn't see anything anyway. It was like she would never run out of tears. What had he done to her?

She carried his future with her. But it was all crumbling to pieces.

His future. Her future. Their future. It never would be. Not while he wasn't there with her. Every day, she wondered why it all had to happen. Would she ever wake up and find this was all a dream. A horrible, twisted nightmare. One she would never escape.

His face, smiling through the tears.

Never coming back.

Never.

A gust of wind slapper her in the face, blowing her hair everywhere. It stung and her eyes watered. She wasn't crying... Had she finally run out of tears? She was close... So close. She wouldn't leave him again. Never.

It wasn't like he had left her. He was always in her thoughts, in her heart. He was always there, she wouldn't let go. She wouldn't forget the pillar of light, the ghost of his voice as everything that he ever was faded, evaporating while she screamed. He never truly left, but he was never truly there either. If only, at the end of everything, she could see him again. Then it wouldn't matter. She'd wait forever.

Forever.

Never.

Thoughts swirled around her head as she eased the gates open. They let out a piercing cry, shrill, voices rusty and dry. They were always there, always screaming. The voices of the forgotten, back once more. She wondered if his voice screamed with them, or if he was sitting somewhere in the dark, waiting.

Waiting.

Forever.

Never.

* * *

She made her way through the forest of gravestones. They were cold, grey and smooth. They were real.

Finally, she reached his. The bold letters struck her as they did every time. These graves were real. His death was real. There was no waking up.

Never.

She reached out a shaking hand and touched the stone. It was cold and rough. Like his hands had been. She liked to think that where ever he was, he was reaching out too. Maybe, in some way, he was here, he was watching. Still here. There were flowers nearby. In the still, frozen air, she could smell them. Sweet, slyly masking the scent of death. He never liked flowers. He said they messed with his senses. She had laughed back then. He had laughed too. They had been happy, they had been okay. She was neither of those things anymore.

She had no idea how long she had stayed there, leaning against the grave, crying. He'd probably tell her to be brave, that she was better than this. Yet he'd left her. Alone. But he was there, she hoped. Watching, smiling. Still there.

It was dark. The stars were shining above them. Above her. She wondered if that was where he was, now. She wished she knew. Maybe then she'd be able to smile.

She had to leave now. She knew that she had to get back up the winding path, back into Magnolia, back to her house. She had to let go. For now. Yet she wasn't really letting go. She held onto him, keeping him in her heart. Even if he wasn't really there. She'd see him in her dreams, in the gap between worlds, they'd see each other. They'd both cry.

She'd always hold on to him. She'd never let Gajeel go. They'd be together forever.

Never. Forever.


End file.
